Balance
by Aria6
Summary: The Winter War has been won, the threat to Soul Society eliminated. But there is another problem... the balance between the worlds has been thrown off by the deaths of so many powerful hollows. What will the consequences be? One-shot.


_Take what you will, and pay for it, says God._

_-ancient Spanish proverb_

…_For uncounted millennia, shinigami have maintained the balance between the three worlds, showing plus souls the way and purifying hollows of their mortal pains, ushering them into Soul Society._

_In that time there has been a massive growth in the Living World. It has caused a natural expansion of both Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. For decades we were in danger of being overwhelmed, too many souls falling into despair and finding Hueco Mundo. Great power was granted more and more onto the wandering souls of the Rukongai and in our arrogance, we often overlooked them, unwilling to accept the strength that came unbidden. However, with Yamamoto Soutaichou's great reforms, we have largely corrected that. Now the balance is stable…_

_What is your question? Ah. Yes, theoretically it would be possible for the balance to slip too far the other way. The effects would depend largely on how quickly it fell out of balance. If the power of Hueco Mundo were to lower slowly, ours would also lower in a corresponding manner. If it happened quickly the effects would be more uncertain. Possibly a few very powerful souls would hollowify, forcing the balance back into place._

_No, I don't imagine that will ever happen. But the point I am making is that there is a balance of souls. There will always be those who suggest going to Hueco Mundo to free those poor, wretched souls. And while it is terrible that they remain separate, untouched by konso, we must always remember. They need to exist so we can also exist…_

_-excerpted from the lectures of Suigo Katami, 3__rd__ Instructor of the Academy, roughly one hundred years ago._

* * *

><p>"I feel ill." Shunsui muttered, rubbing his face. He reached for his sake and took a sip before grimacing. It tasted foul. Why though? It was hardly the most expensive brand but it was not cheap. "…Perhaps it's gone bad." Such things did happen. Setting aside the jar, he stood and pushed himself up from his desk. He had work but he just couldn't concentrate. Perhaps he needed some sun.<p>

"Kyoraku taichou?" Nanao-chan was suddenly by his elbow and he blinked as he realized he was standing out in the bright sunshine, beneath a sakura tree. He knew he must have walked here from his office but the actual deed was completely gone from his mind. "Are you feeling well? You look very pale." She said and he blinked before trying to gather his wits.

"I feel odd." He admitted, tilting his head to gaze up at the sun. It was a pale winter sun, fitting the season. A cold wind plucked at his clothing yet the chill of it did not reach him. He did not feel hot or cold. "Strangely… empty." His mind flashed back on his battle with Coyote Starrk. Was that still bothering him? It hadn't been long ago and he'd regretted killing the man. Yet, when he pictured the arrancar's face, the desperation and fear he'd sensed in him he felt… nothing.

"Perhaps your wounds are bothering you?" Nanao asked and Shunsui absently rubbed his chest. Aizen had dealt him a great wound but it had been a week. He was largely healed. "Perhaps you would like some tea?"

"Perhaps…" Although he didn't think it would really do much. "Please, some of that special blend?" He normally didn't like Nanao's special blend. It was too strong, almost peppery. Right now, though, he wanted to taste that sting on his tongue. Just to _feel_ something.

"Of course." Nanao said with a small smile before gently taking his arm and guiding him back towards the barracks. Normally he might have made a joke about her flirting with him but right now he just couldn't find the energy. When he sipped the tea and gazed over the gardens, the bite of the tea didn't bother him. In fact, he hardly felt it.

Why did he feel so empty?

* * *

><p><em>Shunsui tilted his head back, looking up into the cold night sky.<em>

_A few stars glittered but they were pale and distant. The only thing bright and close was the crescent moon, shining down with a cold light. The sands were grey and shifted beneath his feet, making walking into a bit of a chore. Yet, he walked anyway. There was something here, waiting for him. He could feel it._

_The first thing he found was the mountains of bones. Shunsui paused to look at them. They were the remains of hollows, shattered and broken. Fallen together in huge piles, they spoke mutely of more death than he'd seen in his life. And he had seen a great deal, over the centuries. Yet, the pitiful remains meant nothing to him. He passed them by without thought, looking for whatever had brought him here._

_He found the pair of arrancar sitting in the empty place between the piles of bones. They were not wearing Aizen's uniforms but Shunsui could easily recognize them. Lilynette Gingerbuck was snuggled against Coyote Starrk's chest, her eyes closed as she dozed peacefully. Starrk was staring away with an empty, vacant gaze. To Shunsui, it spoke eloquently of hopelessness._

_Yet, there was a spark of interest as the arrancar turned his head. Shunsui met his gaze, grey against grey, and saw the Espada smile. But there was nothing cheerful about the expression. It seemed to contain all the sorrow in the world._

"_I'm sorry. I didn't want this for you." Starrk reached up to caress Lilynette's cheek and she sighed, snuggling closer. "Don't wake her. She is so peaceful now… we both are. Hell is not a terrible place for our kind."_

"_Your soul collection is being rendered?" He hazarded. That was speculated to be the fate of soul collections that could not be fully purified by a shinigami's blade. Starrk nodded, sorrow flashing through his eyes again. "I am sorry."_

"_There is nothing for you to be sorry for. You did what you had to do. I'm sorry that I drove you to it." Starrk said sadly and Shunsui blinked at him. It seemed an odd reaction, given that he was the one who was dead. "You killed me, the strongest of the Espada. Yammy wasn't, not really, despite his rank. Perhaps that's why you were chosen. Or perhaps it was just fate. I only know that I have been allowed to reach out to you, to explain what is happening."_

"_Happening?" How could something be happening? And how could Starrk be aware of it, in Hell? The arrancar smiled half-heartedly before continuing._

"_You shinigami slew the most powerful hollows to exist. Barragan, myself, Hooleer… Nnoitra and Ulquiorra… it is all too much. You should know this." Starrk said and Shunsui almost felt alarm, beneath the empty calm that had settled over his mind._

"_You are referring to the balance between the three worlds. We have upset it." He said before frowning. "But wouldn't this be Aizen's doing?" After all, he had gathered the hollows and led them into battle. Starrk shrugged._

"_Fault is meaningless. Aizen is imprisoned and with the hogyoku, he cannot accept the fate that must come upon a powerful shinigami. You have been chosen to fill my place." Starrk glanced slowly around at the bone piles before sighing heavily. "You won't like it. I know I didn't. Unfortunately, no one really cares about that." He pulled himself to his feet, lifting Lilynette in his arms. The tattered cloaks they wore swirled around them, caught by the cold wind. "We must go." For a moment Shunsui wanted to stop him, to question him further. But then the urge faded. He understood what the arrancar was saying, felt the truth of it in his soul. Instead, he watched the man walk away, carrying the child in his arms. When they had vanished, he took a seat and gazed around._

_It was oddly peaceful here._

* * *

><p>Shunsui washed his face in the morning, looking into the mirror. Running a hand across his throat, he felt the warm ridges under his fingers. They had just started appearing yesterday. Fortunately, he'd been able to go home from his Division quickly enough to fetch a scarf.<p>

The bone was not extensive yet. Just a line from his throat to the left side of his chest, it almost seemed decorative. And the tiny hole in his abdomen was still in its beginning stages. He would need to hide the change a bit longer, before he was capable of forming a garganta.

Taking his issue to the Fourth was out of the question. Shunsui knew, with a sad certainty, that if they managed to halt the process it would only force it onto someone of equal power. He refused to consign one of his friends to this fate. As he reached for his scarf, he glanced at Katen Kyokotsu on the weapon rack. His swords were looking rough. Their surfaces were cracked and crazed, reflecting the gradual breaking of their connection. He could not hear her in his mind and knew that soon, the swords would shatter. A thought that should have horrified him yet, it didn't really bother him at all.

Reaching for the blades, he slid them into his sash. Just a few more days, four at the most, and he would be ready to leave. Adjusting his bright pink scarf, he smiled at his reflection in the mirror. Then he paused, gazing intently at his eyes for a moment. Were the pupils changing? Then he grimaced to himself. What did it matter if they were? He wasn't Abarai. A scarf could be a legitimate addition to his wardrobe, especially when it was pink, but glasses? Everyone would know there was a problem then.

Shaking aside the thought, he went to his Division. Oddly enough, he was feeling very calm and focused now. For him, becoming hollow was like having all his emotions drained away. And while that left a deep, unpleasant ache it was also strangely peaceful. Was it like this for all hollows? No, it couldn't be. They were consumed with hunger, ravenous things struggling to fill the hole inside themselves. Or perhaps he was wrong about that. Perhaps not all hollows were like that… in fact, perhaps the process of hollowification was as individual as the souls themselves.

"Hmm. Perhaps." He murmured to himself, tapping his quill pen against his lips. Yes, that seemed right to him. He had always lived life to the fullest, indulging his emotions. Yes, he had been capable of acting with the utmost calculation but even then, he'd just enjoyed himself. So for him, to be hollow was to feel nothing. Such a strange contrast.

Smiling to himself, he began his work. He handled it with an efficiency that would have been alien to him, before. Back then he'd always wasted time, stopping to go outside, drink some sake, tease his lovely Nanao-chan… practically anything to get him away from his work. Now, he didn't see the point of those things. Outside was fine but he ate and drank nothing. And teasing Nanao… it seemed a little cruel now. Soon, he would never see her again.

"Shunsui?" He looked up with a smile as Juushiro looked into the room. He seemed concerned. "Are you feeling well? Nanao mentioned you seemed rather pale." He could see his old friend examining him and tried to avert his eyes.

"I'm just fine Juu. Need to get a bit more sunshine." He said easily. "Would you like to play a game of Go?" The work could wait. And it would be nice to get a few games in before he had to leave. Juuushiro nodded, his concern easing a touch.

"Would you like to come to my Division?" He asked and Shunsui nodded with a smile. That would be very pleasant.

"Certainly." The departed together and as they played the game, Juushiro's suspicions eased to nothing. Shunsui concentrated on being his old, charming self. Not to deceive Juushiro and not to enjoy himself, but as a strange form of goodbye.

When he had to leave, they would both have this memory of time spent together.

* * *

><p>Three days later, Shunsui gazed at himself in the mirror.<p>

It was impossible to hide what was happening now. He was developing a mask on the side of his face. The bone was warm under his fingertips, alive and truly a part of him. Lifting his clothing for a moment, he gazed at the hole in his abdomen. It was still a bit on the small side, but he would have to complete the change in Hueco Mundo.

Instinctively, he sensed that he would not become an arrancar. That was an artificial thing, or perhaps a final stage in hollow evolution. He would become a true hollow, the mask gradually growing until his body was covered. Because of his great power, though, he would begin as a vasto lorde. The change in his reiatsu was also starting to become apparent. He was holding it in well but when he let it go, he could sense the deathly chill. Yes, it was definitely time to go.

Sighing to himself, he went to write a letter. He'd considered speaking to Juushiro in person but he knew his best friend would try to stop him. How could he not? Yet, he just couldn't allow it. This was the quick way to restore the balance. What were the other methods? He could think of one… the deaths of several powerful shinigami. How could that happen? A disease, perhaps? And if hollowification was thwarted perhaps that would happen…

Shaking his head, he sat with the paper and began to compose the letter. It took several tries before he had something he deemed adequate.

_Juushiro,_

_You have been my best friend for centuries and I am deeply sorry I cannot tell you this in person. But I know you would try to stop me. What best friend wouldn't?_

_Do you remember those lectures Suigo put on? The ones where he insisted on mentioning the balance and how hollows were necessary for shinigami to exist? Remember how he was finally put on a completely different subject, when he refused to stop mentioning it? All the complaints! Such a tempest in a teapot. Yet, he was right and we should have remembered. Why didn't we remember?_

_I can only blame myself for this. I shouldn't have killed Coyote Starrk. He was just too strong, Juu. Now the three worlds are rebalancing through a forced hollowification. This past week, I've been changing. I have to go to Hueco Mundo now…_

_I can hear you now. Why didn't you go to the Fourth? Even the Twelfth? Because this is the balance. If I do not hollowify, someone else will. Will it be you? Toshiro? Even Yama-jii? I cannot allow that… and there could be even worse. Another way to rebalance the realms would be the death of one powerful shinigami, or several weaker ones. How would that come about? You could be quite vulnerable, with your disease..._

_I cannot allow it. A sacrifice is needed and it seems I have been chosen… it's strange, you know. For me, being hollow is just so empty. I feel nothing at all, only a peculiar sort of peace. But Aizen gave all his Espada aspects of Death. Perhaps my aspect would be Peace._

_Mmm, well, it hardly matters. I'm sorry Juu. I know you'll want to come find me, purify me or even somehow rescue me, but you can't. Not yet, at least. Give it a few centuries for the balance to come back into shape. By then, the death of a powerful vasto lorde won't mean much. Right now, it would force things back out of balance again. And what would be the point of that?_

_I love you all, and that's why I have to do this._

Setting the letter on the centre of his desk, he turned to Katen Kyokotsu. The swords were looking worse than rough, now. They were deeply cracked and about to shatter. Lifting them from the weapon stand, he looked at them sadly for a moment. There was a soft tinkling sound as the longer blade began to break under its' own weight.

"I'm sorry." He said before deliberately snapping the swords. That would sever the last connection to his shinigami nature and Shunsui grunted as he suddenly felt the hole in his abdomen expand, more bone forming over his face.

Feeling nothing but a slight hint of regret, he stepped outside and created the garganta to Hueco Mundo. No doubt someone would detect that but by the time they came to investigate, it would be far too late. And hopefully they would have the good sense to leave him alone.

If not, things would only get worse.

* * *

><p><em>The lonely hollow sat on a pile of bones, watching as another adjuchas screamed and fell into dust.<em>

"_Idiots." He said emotionlessly. The smart ones saw the towers of bones and ran as fast as their legs could carry them. The stupid, the arrogant, the willful… they tried to penetrate his sanctum, fully intending to eat him and become the strongest. Not a one had even come close._

_Yet today, something was different. He turned his head in surprise as a very familiar and beloved reiatsu touched his own. Had it been that long, since he'd come to the sands? Perhaps it had. Time melded together in his mind, with nothing to mark it. And time passed differently between the worlds…_

_He remained sitting on his perch of bones, his lower body idly coiling and uncoiling. His vasto lorde form was snake like and similar to a naga, although there were many differences. Then a shinigami with white hair was standing beneath his tower, gazing up. Shunsui could sense the horror and dismay in him yet felt only a bit of welcome._

"_Juu! It's been ever so long." He thought his voice hadn't changed a bit. From the way Juushiro's eyes widened, he thought so too. "At least, I hope it has. You haven't come too soon, have you?"_

"_It's been four hundred years. We had trouble finding you." He said and Shunsui nodded. He had moved several times, spreading his dark aura across the sands. "Were you hiding from us?"_

"_Of course. I knew you might do something foolish. Well, that should be plenty of time, eh?" He said before sliding down. His snake like body made it very easy and soon he was standing in front of Juushiro. He felt the other man looking him over and returned the favor._

_Juushiro hadn't changed much, in four hundred years. He was wearing his hair in a ponytail again and Shunsui could detect a few more signs of age, a few slight wrinkles and extra lines. Nothing that someone who didn't know him so well would notice. As for himself…_

"_Kami." Juushiro breathed and Shunsui laughed. It was empty and meaningless, as empty as his heart._

"_I am a monster." He truly was. The mask on his face was similar to a jester, completely white on one side with curling horns, and black and red on the other. On that side, little skulls hung from the edges of his mask, tinkling like bells when he moved his head. The bone on his chest resembled a shirt with a high collar and there were more of those skull bells hanging from a black bone belt, tinkling as he moved. "It's actually not that bad. Just very lonely." He gazed up at the moon for a moment. "I can see why Starrk said I wouldn't like it." There was a deep pain in this, the endless ache from the loss of his heart, compounded by the nagging loneliness. The emptiness and peace worked to counteract that, but they could only do so much. Juushiro was surprised._

"_Starrk? You spoke to him?" He said and Shunsui nodded slightly, the skull bells lightly tinkling._

"_I had a dream of him, where he explained things to me. I think it was a true dream." Given how much he'd taken over the other arrancar's place, he was sure of that. "But it hardly matters. Are you here to purify me, Juu?" He asked and the other man looked anguished._

"_I – I have to. I tried to convince them to let Mayuri find a way to make you an arrancar, but since they're also under a sentence of death…" He said and Shunsui sighed to himself._

"_I can't say I'm surprised." Mercy for hollows? What a laugh. "What happened to the Visored and Kurosaki?" He asked shrewdly and saw Juushiro look away. "Did they escape?"_

"…_Yes. They haven't been found." He said and Shunsui doubted people were trying too hard. The fact that they were on the run, though, said everything that needed to be said. "Will you fight me?"_

"_Of course!" He said with a wild laugh. "Fighting is one of the few things that makes me feel alive." And he had so few chances to do it. The last had been a half-crazed arrancar. Ah, it had been so much fun, playing his games again. Katen Kyokotsu might not be there, but her spirit lived on in his new weapons. "Come then!" He drew his swords of white bone, readying himself. Juushiro also drew his swords, his expression set. Of course, Shunsui knew who would win. He couldn't bring himself to kill his best friend. Soon, his soul would return to the cycle._

_It was a liberating thought._


End file.
